A not a so well starting...

Hey there folks? Hope you're having a good weekend.

For this 2017 I had plans. Cool artistic plans that were making me excited...yet I don't feel like doing them anymore.

I don't feel the strength to talk with anybody or going to dA or twitter or any other social network. I will not even bother to talk about the story behind what happened yesterday, because I think is not necessary...Nobody can help me with this anyways. Is a problem I have to deal with alone.

Yesterday night I just was happy to be able to hang out with a friend, a friend who have been with me for 4 years now. But at some point things started to turn out a bit bad, when he asked me for a drawing with my characters, so I felt it was going to be uncomfortable for me to draw.

He wanted me to draw explicit sexual stuff with my underaged characters...obviously it made me feel very uncomfortable cos sexual stuff and mature art is something I'm not into, and I don't have anything to do with.

So I told him "sorry but I don't think I could draw that, but what about this other thing?", and I did my best to explain him that probably I wouldn't feel confortable with drawing something like that. I tried to explain him that if I did it, I wouldn't feel good doing it and that it was not healthy to do something I wasn't into. And also there were other reason, that I would consider that to be risky taking in count that my work and THESE characters in particular, are for family entertainment. 

And then he got sad, and he said I was offending him for saying no to that and it was like telling him that he was "weird" and "pervert".  And no matter what I said to him to make him understand my point, he kept being sad and bothered.

In short, he spent all night making me feel guilty for something I shouldn't feel guilty about.

Because you know, I am in my right to say no to draw stuff I don't think it's appropiate for my characters or stuff that I'm not into, or that doesn't reflect my personal tastes. 

Every artist has that right...and I think people should respect that.

I feel upset right now cos because of that reason I spent my night up trying to comfort him, and after that I spent the rest of the night worried about what happened and that's why I wasn't able to wake up earlier and not only I wasted the morning and I wasn't able to work, but also  I lost my appointment to get to pick up my school documents and to see that about my social service. And now I had to make another appointment and they said I will have to wait for Wednesday of this next week that comes.

However, this is not the first time he ask me something that doesn't fit my characters, or that I'm not comfortable with. This is a problem I've been having with this same person for some years now, and I don't know what to do to solve it on a good way.

There's a way to solve it of course, the easiest one that is logic, to block this person or just say "sorry but I don't want that we are friends anymore."

The other option is something I cannot do either. I cannot just change my nick and hide either,  cos we share the admiration for some artists, so we have a couple of friends in common.  Thus, as soon as I started following the other artists, he will find me.

And I don't want to any of that either, because..because that's not true! I don't want to not be friends with him anymore!

At contraire. I want to hang out with him and be friends because he have done a lot of cool stuff for me. Not only giving me art supplies, but also he inspired me to create the designs sheets of Jean, Laura, and Estelle. 

In fact, they were for a long time only in my imagination....and I think without him I wouldn't have had the motivation for actually create them.  Also, we have seen movies and tv shows together and if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have discovered a couple of cool cartoon shows.

So, I enjoy his company, and I don't want to say goodbye to him forever...I just want to be friends and hang out and make him understand that the fact I considere it isn't appropiate to draw fetishes with my characters doesn't mean I don't respect his ideas or personal tastes, like he said. It's simply that I'm not into those ideas. 

I just wish I could make him understand everybody has their right to decide what to like and what not to like. People like what feels good for them. And that's ok.

So..I think I write this cos I would really like to find some help from someone who have also experienced this, to solve this problem a good way! In a way he can be happy and he doesn't feel bad or takes it too personal. 

I hope I can solve this problem soon, because I really appreciate this person and I enjoy a lot to talk about cartoons and comics and to do giftart for him! ^^

But I aslo need to take care of the image my characters give and conserve the art about them proper because they're for kids and family.

....So, I will think about what to do in these days, and hope things go well this time...

I will do my best to show my appreciation and conserve the frienship, I think it's worth the effort!

Thanks for reading this! Writting here is the makes me feel better when sad or bad things happens, and helps me to organize my feelings and eventually find solutions to things.