My new reflex!!!

Hiya there folks! How you've doing?

I'd like to share with you today, the summary so to speak, of the story of how I got my first reflex camera. 
I've posted it on dA first of course...but taking into account that probably I'll have to leave the page in hiatus for a while....I think I'll post a quote of it here in any case. And as always, I let you know the colored part it's a quote so you don't go to the photo link just to read the same part. Also because I wouldn't like people to think I copy and paste the same thing heheh. You know my comments are original, that's why I quote :)

"I've been buried on my own homework since...well since last year's September when I signed up to College! All the time doing school works instead of sleeping, so much that I don't even bother to count the days I've spent like this! XD

I mean, days happens like this but it worths the effort, cos there are lots of interesting and cool things about my classes at school that I wouldn't chance for anything. So I'm aware that when I decided to get to study Graphic Design, this was one of the best decisions of my life! ^^
But there are some times when I feel like I'd love to have a bit of free time for myself, cos there are lots of things that have happened in my life and too fast, and I don't have time to talk about them.  So today I was thinking of what to talk first, because I only have the time for one thing, since I have homework. So at the end I decided to pick up one of the things I wanna talk about the most, and share a bit of my everyday life with you.

I think one of the most amazing news I've got this month, it's that finally I've got my new camera for my photography class this schoolar cycle, in my case in mexico we call it "cuatrimestre" cos it's a cycle of 4 months. 

The first 3 weeks everythig was "theoric", we did some very interesting stuff though, we investigated a few photographers the teacher wanted us to search info about, and then me and my classmates brought what we searched to the classroom and we talked photography story and cameras. 

But what was worrying me at those weeks,  was the fact that I had not my camera yet, and since the classes have started, I felt a lot of frustration cos I lost the first practice in the classroom with the camera. Since meanwhile everybody were practicing, I was doing nothing and none of my classmates wanted to borrow me their cameras.

Of course, I wasn't the only one who haven't been able to get a camera....but still, I felt too embarassed *chuckles blushes*

So, yeah, these weeks passed. And last Thrusday of this week that just passed, I was at school trying to find someone who also was studying the same career, to see if they could borrow me a camera, and I was hopeless because I wasn't able to anybody ! Then I called my brother to pick me up from school,  because I was tired to running from a place to another literally BEGGING FOR SOMEONE WHO LET ME TO US THEIR CAMERA TO DO MY HOMEWORK!! *pulls off hair* 

Then my brother said that mom said I'd come with him to a pawnshop so we could pawn the little jewelry that my mom had in the family from a long time, in order to get some money and with it to buy the type of camera I needed for my class. So we went then do that, then to the electronics store (in this case it's called Coppel) and gave the initial payment for a credit we got, and that's how I got my first reflex camera!
Wow...it was a lot easier to talk about this than I thought, heheh, I thought it was going to be a long boring story but itwasn't...of course I omited lots of details, because it not then it would have been a boring story! XD

I know  "I put the rope in my own neck" (as we say in Mexico) when I decided to buy this camera, because the interest for the credit it's over the sky!...but I know it's all worth the effort, cos finally I was able to do my homework this last friday, and just will say; let the photos talk for themselves!"

Of course, here's the link to the photo Exotic Red and there in the link are the rest of my comments.  Although ...I can't resist to post the quote where I talk about the cameraaaaaa!! :D

"but what this beauty can do...Oh boy! OH BOY! It's something immeasurable!  It's a Canon T5 and luckily for me, it included a 55mm lent. I couldn't get a macro lents because it's quite expensive, but I think what I have now it's all a passionate of photography who has their first time with a reflex camera would ever need!
It's my first time with a reflex....I've always dreamed with having one of these...I've spent almost a lifetime reading about cameras of this kind and camera lents and all that stuff in other photographer's works here...And now I HAVE ONE!!!! *excited*
So my joy for this is...Oh my!...I can't express it with words...cos I feel all I could say would become an euphemism *chuckles* 

It's funny, when I brought it home that night, my sister commented "why you get too excited for this, it's just a camera!" But...what I can't say? XD I who know about photography, I know what this means, and just I can't help being a passionate about photography!"

Rambling on Valentine's day

I know I shouldn't have come visit dA yesterday, cos I have lots and lots and lots of homework still....but sometimes....I feel lonely...

Specially since my classmates stopped being nice and became cold and aphatic :(

I realized yesterday, that when the few friends you have are far far away from where you live, its hard to conserve them...because sometimes I have no time to give them all the attention they deserve and need, and then...I guess that's why they go away and and lose contact....

What I saw yesterday, it's that no matter how much I struggle to tell my friends how much I appreciate them, most of them don't seem to know! Because no matter how much I send them messages showing I care of them, some of them don't even drop me a message, or WORSE! They always are giving love to other people who don't care about them!!!

They have an special bonding with other people and give gifts to others, they chat with other people and sent valentine cards to other people, put other people special "affectionate names" and not to me *sigh*...and to me, they treat me as a casual friend.....I have the feeling they don't trust on me enough to get their emotions involved on me....like if I was a machine or something like that...

...It's a feeling deep inside which I can't get rid of....a feeling that breaks my heart and haunts me, chases me like a lot of angry bees wanting to bite me...

I'm not saying that everybody it's like that, don't worry. There are a couple of great friends I have, who genuinely care of me and treat me like a dear friend ^^ Specially and mostly my dear friend and mentor Jame.

But sometimes...I see the others who don't treat me like a dear friend but only a casual friend, and makes me think if I'm not doing a good job as a friend, as a support for the people I love!..do I?...

It makes me also think if most of they people who I consider friends of mine are not, and all that it's an illusion....Or how can I know that?...

Or maybe I'm just worrying too much because I know I haven't had much time for my friends in these months, and I fear to lose them, I worry they might feel unloved or neglected.

But I think I should relax and try to stay cool like that. And if I do that, probably to make friends and to have a strong conection with people would be a lot easier. After all, trust on people doesn't earn on one day or two, and there are some people who are more reserved and mistrustful than others.
For example, I have 3 years with a friend who still doesn't tell me her real name or where she lives XD....I wouldn't pressure her though. I think she will when she feels confident to do it. She have had some bad experiences with people so I understand her.

So I think they will get close to me when feel ready. Yeah because, the friends I've had a real connection to, when that happened it have happpened spontaneously. I mean, I didn't need to struggle much or think much of it or doing "extraordinary things" or anything like that. It just...happened because it was constructed day by day! :) Through the time when we talked and shared ideas and feelings, our similar tastes and other stuff. And the frienship grew up as a beautiful flower that was born in the wild, because I was like I usually am; I was helpful, laidback, always caring, friendly and positive.

One time when I was a lot younger, a friend of mine gave me this wise advice. He said I should value and love myself first, before pouring my love to others, and that that will attract good people to my life. One day some time ago, I remember he said:

"if you poured love on yourself as much as you are capable to love other people, and focus on your qualities rather than your faults, as you do with everybody else...if you weren't too hard with yourself, then it would be a lot easier to attract good people and be friends with it!" 

And that's true, it's a wise advice I put into practic since then:)

Problem is that I do love myself now, cos I've matured and learned through the experience and now I'm confident and have more self steem. But I'm still too hard with myself when I make mistakes, also when things don't come out as fast as I would like, then I get  desperated! Like yesterday for example, when seeing people giving valentine's cards and giftart and calling them affectionate names, and to me..nothing!

But well, that's something I must improve, I should be more patient and concentrate to give love to myself more. That will make me a more confident person and thus will help to make the people I want to befriend to be more comfortable with me and trust on me. I think they just need more time....and I wouldn't like to be "a push off", that's never nice.