For those days there are friends!

It seems, no matter how much value I have or how much heart I give, nobody cares about what happens to me...or my art, or the fact I'm still struggling to learn french the best I can even if it seems I CAN'T... 

But I'm sure if I was a famous celebrity they would! They would care just because I'd be famous, not because of what kind of person I am.

I've noticed, people on the internet usually pays attention and give their admiration to famous people just cos they're popular, even if they are jerks. Even when they don't have any goodness in their mind and heart.

Although the advantage of not being famous it's that you can have your privacy and live a life without worrying of people constantly critizicing you and bothering you for every little thing you do or you don't do. And as some pleople have told me, at least I have "a bread in my plate and a ceiling over my head"

So here...that's a thing that give me solace *sigh*....

But what if I don't want only that...what if I don't want "to live more or less" "to eat more or less" , WHAT IF I DON'T WANT JUST TO SURVIVE!! ....What if I want my life to be extraordinary!... Stunning! Incredible! Totally amazing!!

...what if I want more umh?

How I can earn that?.... HOW?!!! If I work hard everyday and try to do my best and I get NOTHING! No improvement.

Sorry...I know I have a little time to talk and I should talk about cool stuff...it's just...

I feel a bit sad today because, no matter how much I struggle, or how much effort I put into things. There are days when I feel like my life isn't at all as I would have wanted....as I would have imagined...

For example, my sister broke up with her boyfriend (because he was a jerk with her) and my mom bought her clothes shoes and glasses that look cool. And he is comforting her and all that stuff. But not me.

And when I broke up with my very first boyfriend, who was such an amazing person! And for reasons that were out of my control...my mom wasn't there, and my dad just got so mad at me and said "you shouldn't talk with people on the internet" and insolated me from my friends for months...I lost my job...I lost everything the few things I had....

And what I had to do on that ocassion was....to swallow all my pain and desperation, and to work hard to  make my life a bit stable again, since I lost all what I had...and I had to cope with my feelings all alone!!...because I had no one who I felt I could trust to talk about it...

And that all about my parents buying stuff and stuff to my sister and comforting her but not me, is just a "friendly reminder" (sarcastic, obviously, cos it is a painful reminder, it rubs off on my face) that tells me I have no money for that kind of stuff ...That tells me I'm poor and I have no help at all to improve that....and something more sad....that they don't really think I'm or I'll be a worthy human being and a succesful person...

And there's another reminder of that:

When I come all excited to tell my mom my plans for the future (like yesterday) of formally studying french...of continuing working hard and then saving to go to some french town as a student, to learn the language, the culture,  to open my mind to a new perspective of the world. She says I should worry about my school first, that I SHOULDN'T "dream that high" cos nothing of that will ever become true....

Also today has been a very exhasuting day for me, not just because of the homework or due the reminders of me being  a looser. But cos I've been trying to buy new shoes to replace my old shoes, co the ones I have are too old and look pretty much like if I had taken them up from the the dumb XD But I haven't had the opportunity to find ones that fit me well because the times I've went to shoe stores, there are no shoes of my size cos I seems have a too tiny feet =P

Plus I'm feeling worse because I've realized that probably I'll not be able to keep being in school soon, cos there's not enough money for my materials, material for school works.

And the school absors much of the time I should be using for my work. So last week I had a couple of problems with some work that wasn't done on time.  I know that  my priority should be my work and not my school cos my work it's what gives me to eat and pay my school but....Sometimes I feel I can't do both things at the same time!! ....

I fear that soon happens that I'd...have to leave my school unfinished....for the second time....for the same reason.

Folks...You know I usually feel lucky, cos I always appreciate what I do have, and I always struggle to try to see the positive side on things that happens and try to not think on the things I don't have. 

So I usually feel like a strong and bold person, with an indomitable a passionate spirit who loves french and art and a lot other stuff that it's amazing and worthy! 

A dreamer who can do great things and whose limits are her own imagination! And since my imagination has no limits (at least not as I know so far ;) *chuckles* ) then I figure out that my posibilities of creating new amazing and worthy things have no limits too.

But there are also days like these, when things like what I mentioned happens, that make me feel like I am s***!!!!

That I'm worthless...

That I'm just an tiny and insignificant girl who was called crazy sometimes, because of her ideas and dreams, a person whom nobody cares of. Whose dreams will never come true and whose ideas and messages she would like to share in her artwork with the world will never be seen!

...But for those days, there are friends!

Today I got a free moment I came to dA "with the tail between the legs" (like a popular mexican saying) feeling defeating...helpless...weak...insignificant...

But then I went to visit my own artwork and I read the beautiful and heartwarming comments my friends have done for me on some of my pieces, some time ago, and that was enough to make me feel strong again. Now I feel again it's worth living! :')

Friends are here to share the good and bad moments, to cry and laugh and have fun together, to help and support each other, and to take away from each other's heart the sadness and the feeling of being defeated in the most sad or bad moments!

And the fact that the comments my friends have done for me here, some time ago, still make me feel powerful and faithful when I need it the most, even,  that is truly a miracle! ^^

So that's why I wanted to write about it today, to give you my friends a huge warm hug and a thank you! And let you know I always think about you guys ^^

Ah oh, and last but not least, other things I would like to say:

One it's that I'm going to paint one of my art pieces as a vector to practice with Illustrator (we already did in school a bussiness card and a logo, and printed them, it was cool :) ) but I'm not sure of what of my pieces to post, so if you would like to give me a suggestion, I'll be more than glad to hear it! :D See my pieces (on the site I used to post my work) and tell me what do you think it might be good for that work, or what would you like to see painted in Illustrator.

The second thing it's very important, I'm very concerned because there's no enough money for my school's homeworks and projets materials, So I thought to ask a bit of help, like I've seen other artist doing it.

Although I DO NOT like to go and say "help me please" and to ask people to give me their money for free, for not doing anything, like I've seen other artist have done. 

Cos I've always been used to receive money for work, for things I do, when I earn it. I was raised that way, I was taught to only accept money for a work done XD

Thus it would be SO embarassing for me to accept money as charity! *SHY GIGGLES*

So, that's why I had a better idea, to try and organize my time to take comissions again, specially sketches and colored sketches. Cos these are all I might be able to do in these times I think.

So...I'm taking comissions again folks :D

Please if someday some of you have liked my art, now it's time to show your support! 

If you would like to help me to get more money to keep being in school, I truly would appreciate it!

In case you would like that I draw something for you, see my journal about comissions ( for more info.

And let me tell you, there are a couple of simple rules, but excepting for that, there's no problem.

I can draw whatever your imagination comes up with, remember; for the imagination there's no limits!  :D

An Unimaginary story (Chapter 2)

Hiya there folks! 

Today I'd like to share a fanfic I made about the cartoon show Foster's Home for Imaginary friends, I hope you like it.

To setting the story: She's was kind girl, fan of many TV shows, but specially Foster's home, which accidentally fall into Foster's world, a place in which she has no home or family, and she has to learn to earn a living, so she was looking for a job when she meets Wilt and the rest of foster's gang by chance, and they takes her to Foster's, and Madame Foster offered her a place to spend the night. This part of the story refers to the first night of Atrix at Foster's Home, when Madame Foster give her a room, and she says she will sleep on a mat and gives the bed to Wilt, and you know, after many apologies he accepts.

"An unimaginable story" Chapter2 : A very sweet Night

She walked through the corridors of the mansion, recognizing the place with every step while walking, and the house was very different from what she had imagined when I used to watch the show; She looked around and upward, noticing that the place looked more and more like an ancient art museum, albeit without any paint, just like it seemed to her when she arrived this afternoon. She was looking for the room she knew was Wilt, Coco, Bloo and Eduardo's bedroom, because she wanted to thank the guys for taking her to Foster's, especially to Wilt, and when she came there, she tried to pass casually, because was supposed she didn't know where are the rooms. She found Wilt humming a song, and she couldn't help giggled a bit, he looked very relaxed and he was getting ready to sleep, but when she saw him there, putting his shoes in his locker, knowing he would have to sleep on the cold floor tonight, she felt really sad, and she couldn't help telling him:

- Wilt…B...But you have no bed to sleep!!

Wilt turned to her and asked with a evident expression of surprise.

- Uh!...Sorry but....What??!!?

- Uhmmm...I mean, it seems you don't have a bed...

- Uhm…Well…Yeah it's true but, don't worry about that! I'm Ok! Really!!

- But the floor is hard and cold and it's nothing good for you, especially because you got asthma!!

He looked a bit confused and said:

- Asthma??!

She realizes she shouldn't say that, and then she quickly says:

- I...I mean, if you keep sleeping there you'll get asthma.

Why don't you come to my room and sleep with me...

Then he felt as strange sensation, like if he had swallowed a lot of butterflies, her knees trembled and her face reflected a faint crimson.

- I mean, not with me in my bed, but it my bed!…I mean, not my bed, but the bed Madame Foster gave me… I will gladly give you the bed! You can sleep there!, really!!!!

That last thing left him more impressed. “Oh boy!” he thought, when he realized she was genuinely concerned about him, and something deep within him was telling him to accept her kind gesture.

- Sorry but….I’m sorry but, I can’t accept that. If I sleep in your bed….Where do you will sleep then?

- Oh, don't worry! I could sleep on a mat.

and she smiled very sweetly.

- I'm sorry but...you don't know me!...w...why do you want....

- but I would like to!!! Said her with great excitement.

- ....Really??!!!
And Wilt opened a lot his eyes in amazement.

- YES!!!!!

He was really impressed. Specially by the way she said "yes". So sure, so heartfelt, so genuine. No one ever asked him why he had no bed before, or even had offered to find one for him...and then he met this total stranger who wanted to give a place to sleep!...her place!....the bed that she was received just that day!! Without hesitation!!! He didn't understand why her kind gesture, but he was so touched by such a noble action, so he thought it for a second, then he smiled and said:

- Oh...well...Ok! If you would like…

She was so excited when she said “ Then, COME ON!!!” that she even didn't wait until he finished his sentence, she took his hand gently and took him to the room proudly, carefully, like if he was the most precious thing in the universe, because for her, he was. 

She was looked for a mat while he lay in bed and he smiled to realize that the bed was a little longer, and at that moment she ended up preparing the mat and turned around to see Wilt...and when she saw him smiling she was amazed to see that his smile was incredibly beautiful and amazing, even more than in the show, where she usually could see him through tv....but then she tried to turn away and look to other place, cos she thought Wilt could realize she was so amazed and excited; she knew she couldn't tell to anybody where she came from, because it could be too much to them and might scaring them or something. "It's supposed that I don't know him! If he sees I'm amazed or excited he could found it so weird!!" she thought.

But no matter how much she tried, she just couldn't hide her amazement, her joy...or her ineffable ecstasy....it was so overwhelming that she felt her heart beat so fast that it could get out by her throat, by her nose or somewhere else; just look at him left her breathless, and she couldn't hide a really big glowing smile when she saw him lying there, smiling and relaxing in his classic pose, with the arm behind the neck, as he did in the episode "Room With a Feud" and she realized he already had a bed to sleep...well at least for now...

She felt invaded by a great excitement and glee, and although she knew she needed to look to another way because she couldn't hide his excitement, she couldn't stop looking at him, she couldn't stop to contemplate him in all his splendor; his smooth red skin, now real and palpable, his wonderful and sexy smile, his shiny and beautiful eyes, his sweet and warm expression, his cute little lobes, his so awesome and athletic figure...until she saw in his face a obvious gesture of surprise, then she turned her gaze to somewhere else, a little blushed again. 

Wilt was so overwhelmed by that so sweet way she looked at him, and that made him blushing too, and indeed, as he's so perceptive, he actually noticed something weird was happening, but he said nothing...So she just turned the lights off, and lied on the mat, and prepared to sleep quietly at his side.

She was making a superhuman effort to try to sleep, but she couldn't sleep!! Sleep doesn't came to her for the thrill of being so close to Wilt, she was so excited that she was breathless, and she just couldn't wait until tomorrow to talk with him, she had so many questions to ask him!! like what is his favorite food or his favorite color, or why he always wear his socks on and he didn't leave his bare feet to see if they are so cool and so awesome.... she just wanted to say his feet are so cool and awesome and his hands too! with those "suction cups" as she read it from his great and tenacious fanbase ....she wanted to talk with him about his innumerable fans!! And tell him that in the place where she comes from, there was a TV show about him and everybody in Foster's Home, and there were a lot of people who really loved, respected and admired him!

 She wanted to tell him that the cannibal ghost who they believed they had caught was actually Bloo, or to ask him what happened that day with all those jellyfish...She just wanted to tell him he's truly awesome dancing or playing basketball, that he looks really awesome and snazzy in a formal suit, that she loves a lot how long his legs are and she just loves the masterful way in which he played the keyboard and his beautiful voice, she wanted to say him she's his most ardent fan!...and she loved him, SHE LOVES HIM TRULY, deeply, with all her heart! with all the force of her soul!!! For his cozy and warm personality, for his heart of gold, for his cheery and brave spirit!...But she couldn't!! She couldn't!!!

"I can't!!! I can't!!! I can't!!! I CAN'T!!!!!" She was repeating that herself again and again, lying in the mat, trying to calm herself down a bit, waiting for calm, hopping to sleep....and suddenly she heard a sweet and gentle voice, that made her shudder with excitement!!...It was him! And he wasn't asleep yet!

I'm sorry but, are you Ok? asked him with genuine concern for his new friend.


- Uh….oh, Yeah! I’m fine!

- Are you sure?....You look a bit nervous, do you had a nightmare?..

She giggled a bit, she was really amazed to notice he cared about her, and thought: "OH MY GOODNESS!!! It's him!!!! is really him!!! That's the wilt I know!!!!!!" and She just said:

Ohh no no! I'm fine yeah!!

- Uhmm..

Then he returned to lay his head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling, while he said:

-Sorry for take your bed…Do you want another pillow?


She stands a little above the floor to see him and says again with a big smile:

-Don't worry Wilt!, I'm ok here!!! Really?!!


-Great! - He said finally, although not very satisfied - ….but if you want I can go to my room...if you change your mind just tell me ok!!

- I will tell you, Ok.

Oh! – He lifted his torso from the bed to look at her, suddenly remembering something - and I warn you sometimes I talk in my sleep!....

She looked at him very sweetly and smiled. She couldn't help but giggle a little again, and she thought for herself "I know it my dear, I know…and that’s SO CUTEE!!!!"

- Come on! don't said that!! I'm so glad you're here!!!

-Reall...

- Yes of course!! – the she got up from the mat, moved by a strange impulse - Come on Wilt!!! You always care about everybody!!!! Please! Just for one time accept....

And she did not finish his sentence, because he saw Wilt opened his eyes a lot and made a expression of overwhelming amazement. It was almost like he was saying "Ohh dear!...You know me!!!!" But the strange thing was that he didn’t look freaked out, but very excited, just like someone who makes a fortunate and unexpected discovery, and he was.


Then their eyes met, and suddenly the two were stared at each other, trapped by a powerful, beautiful, almost magical force. His eyes glittered more intensely with the moonlight, like two drops of dew hanging from a spider web, and they were much more beautiful...She didn't know if it was by the moonlight reflected through the open window, or just for the surprise ...but he looked incredibly handsome and dashing, his face reflected compassion and tenderness, and his majestic skin looked like velvet caressed by the moonlight.

She realized she shouldn't say that, and only said:


-- Just sleep! I'm ok!...Really...


And she smiled again and put her thumb up, emulating his classic sign she loved a lot...only to remember that she shouldn't do that either, but she thought "well, anyone can make that sign...but NO ONE makes it so great as him!!! That's for sure!!!"


Wilt smiled too and said: - Ok!

And the two returned to lay his head on the pillow


Wilt was thinking about the way she looked at him, and what would be the reason why she had offered her bed to him, or why she was so excited and glad to meet him, but mostly, he wondered why she admired him so much! he felt she loved him, and she already knew him, but he didn't wanted to say anything, in part because he thought maybe it was just his imagination...and thinking about it after a while he fell asleep.

But she couldn't sleep. She couldn’t believe it! Her long-awaited, almost impossible change to meet Wilt was there, and it was real! “Oh my oh my oh my!!!” she thought. She still couldn't contain her excitement, she wanted to scream, she wanted to dance, she wanted to sing, wanted to jump by excitement!!!; she wanted to give 1000 laps running around the home, like Peanut Butter, Wilt and the other buddies did in "Room with a feud", to see if after that, she could finally get to sleep!!....She se was dying to get out of the mat and jump on him, and kiss him and caress and hold him lovingly, to tell him she loved him so deeply, and give him kisses all over his spectacular anatomy, with tenderness and passion, and make him hers right there...but she couldn't!!! So, she was just here, rubbing his face with his hands, filled with pure joy, shuddering excitement and desire, while she thought of that.

But she knew she needed to calm down herself a little to get sleep, so she tried to breathe deeply, then she got out of the mat, thinking to go to the kitchen to drink something that help to calm her down a bit...but when she saw him there, sleeping peacefully, she couldn't avoid getting closer to the bed and sit on one edge to contemplate him sleeping quietly, in all his splendor, he was so adorable, so awesome, so majestic, so incredibly real!! as the REAL being of flesh and blood he already was!!!... “oh my! even when he's asleep he's so adorable and so awesome!” She thought.

She was approached a little more and she heard his breathing, she saw his belly moving while he was breathing. She knew She shouldn't do it because it might wake him up, but she couldn't avoid gently stroking his arm and give him a small and tender kiss on one of his cute little lobes, and in that instant she felt a wonderful, warm and cozy feeling, a feeling that filled her heart with pure joy and peace. Then she tucked him and she fell asleep in the mat, quietly, peaceful, and really happy to know that the most wonderful being in all the the whole universe was next to her....



Alternative/Extended end made on May 2009



She knew She shouldn't do it because it might wake him up, but she couldn't avoid gently stroking his arm and give him a small and tender kiss on one of his cute little lobes, and in that instant she felt a wonderful, warm and cozy feeling, a feeling that filled her heart with pure joy and peace. And when she kissed him she heard a slight and sweet moan, she thought "sorta nightmare?" and she gently stroked one of his lobes to calm him down a little, thinking he was having a nightmare...

In that instant, she heard a slight moan again, a little higher this time, so sexy, yet so cute, smooth, warm and harmonious, as the purr of a cat when his master caresses it ...Then was when she realized with great joy he actually was enjoying the caress, and she thought pleasantly surprised "Hey! He likes it!!" with a huge smile. She looked at him sweetly and couldn't avoid making a giggle...and suddenly, like a powerful beam that falls in a storm, it came to her mind the hypothetical theory she made once, and she thought "Oh....my...good....OH MY GOOD!!! It means that my theory is TRUE!!!! it's true!! it's true!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!! I just can't believe it!!! Oohh myy! it's true!"
She couldn't stop being overwhelmingly amazed, pleasantly amazed, so much that she could barely couldn't contain her excitement; she covered her mouth to not scream from excitement to not wake him, and instead of it, she returned to rubbing his face with his hands, shuddering with excitement.

She stood out of bed and looked out the window the starry sky, trying to calm herself down a bit. The stars shone so intensely that night, they were amazingly beautiful....While she looked out the window, she was wondering why no one had realized that about Wilt before, just to repair in the obvious answer: "it’s obviously because nobody pays attention to him" she thought. She calmed down a bit seeing the stars and she returned to sit quietly on one side of the bed, to continue stroking him lovingly a little bit more, before going to sleep in the mat...but she fell asleep on the bed, quietly, peaceful, and really happy to know that the most wonderful being in all the whole universe was next to her....

That's all I did today!

Hiya there folks!  How are you doing?

Just yesterday in the mid-day I arrived home from the house of one of my classmates, I went there cos me and my classmates were doing a homework project for our drawing class, then I used the rest of the time yesterday to mop the floor and make a math homework I had and I wasn't able to do before because of the other pending homeworks I've  had.

Right now I know I need to take my time to start with the last project I have, that it's to make an animal in "plano seriado" (not sure of how to say that in english..."serial plane"? ) and also an essay of a movie we saw in "Creativity" class.

Funny  thing, all that day today, I wanted to take a bit of time to relax and draw something cool, and I tried! But I don't know why all the ideas I had turned out to not come out in the paper at the end XD So all what I was able to do today have been these little sketches.

These are part of an scene of one of the stories for a comic I was planning to draw with these characters. 

Today I was surfing on the web to see if I could have inspiration to draw, and I saw two comics by chance, one that was awful, and other that was really great, but it was sad to see that after that one comic, the person who made it never come back to do something as amazing as that. Rather, that artist started to draw porn.

So I was kind of sad when I started drawing today, but doing these sketches made me feel better, cos they are something truely cute and warm, and that kind of stuff always make me feel happy no matter how bad the reason for being sad is. :)

I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this scene or not, cos, althought it is loving and tender, I'm realizing that I keep having trouble with facial expressions as the past year. For example here in the 3 and 4 pannels, if you see the expression of him is anything like the one I wanted to draw!
I wanted him to have an expression that transmits he's grateful, happy and amazed cos his girl loves him, but obviously...it didn't came out...the eyes look like he's a dork XD...or what do you think?