Do I really have the skills?

I've been really bored today cause there's nothing on TV....I come online and there's nothing here, too.

I used to think when I felt like I do now, that it was mostly cos I felt lonely...like...sad...cos I realized that actually nobody cares about what I do or what I don't...

But I guess not...cos there are a couple of good people in my life who do care...And truly appreciate and admire and who I wouldn't change for anything!  I just wish I could be able talk with them very often...

...I'm trying to figure out how I feel, and I think mostly...it's that sometimes I just feel tired of life...of the world...of the horrible things some people do to our fellow humans...And mostly, I feel tired of struggling and working hard and waking up every morning with a hope and do my best in everything, and that even so, even after that it seems that I can do nothing, to make this a bit better world.

And then when it comes my turn to die...nobody will remember me...I feel like I'll never be able to give this world something useful or worthy...something they really like...

Today I saw a comic that promises to be awesome for what I've been seeing so far. And it's so cool..but it makes me a bit sad too, I only wish my stories and artwork would look that cool ...

Don't get me wrong, I'm always glad when I see other people creating stuff that is successful, but...but... why for once it can be my turn....why once it wouldn't be me who can create amazing stuff?...Sometimes I feel desperate cos, I think I will never Invent a comic that can be amazing like the ones I've seen *sigh*...

I haven't even wrote since the last time I was writing and I lost everything. But I'm not sure of how find the motivation...Some time ago when I was having lots of inspiration for a story, I talked about one of my stories with one of my closest friends, someone whose opinion meant a lot for me, and he made lots of negative comments about it...since then I have not much inspiration for writing, I have vague ideas of all my stories but no end or no beginning or troubles with the plot or something! But there always have to be something wrong with them!...And I don't know what to do...

The same applies with the college career I signed in this year. It's Graphic design...And I chose it because that's what I wanted since I was little, to have an career that was Art related, and later to use my talent to create amazing and wonderful stuff that can make people laugh and cry, be moved, think and reflex, that can give them hope and faith to realize their dreams, that make them...think for themselves! That was my dream...but now I'm not sure if....if this was the right choice...cos I see it's getting too difficult for me to make a comic or book.

Maybe I should have chose accounting after all, and settle with being an accountant cos my drawing and writing skills never were that good to do something successful as I thought?....

I don't wanna think so though...I really don't. 

....It's wrong that I don't want to accept setting with giving up on making a comic or book?.... You my fellow artist who are reading this, have some advice to find the motivation to write or make a comic?