Not sure if I can come back

I'm not sure if I should come back yet to where I always used to post my artwork before I did this blog.

Cos there is a person who once, some time ago, I considered a great friend of mine, in these months have said so many hurtful comments about my art a while ago.

For example some time ago he sent a message weird messages that were stressing me out. In the messages he was upset cos he said that I had "faved pics of people smoking" and he was worried that "I started to smoking"... and I was like "what the....!!" It was silly and weird to me how he just assumed that I "suddenly started to smoke" from nonwhere, since he knows me, he knows what I think about smoking.  I think this was not polite nor corteus at all :(

I think the thing that weirder me out the most, was the fact that this pic was just drawing of a japanese lady drinking tea!....

And it's not the first time he or assumes or says weird things that doesn't make any sense, and makes me feel hurt and sad....

Some weeks days ago, he said he wasn't agree about the kind of art I posted, or what I made...for example, the last thing he told me and I remember a lot, cos hurt me a lot personally, was one day when he got mad because I made a little giftart for a friend that was fanart, and he said that making fanart was stupid and a was a waste of my time, and making giftart was "like bringing the coffee to the people", "like being a pet of the people" And well...who wouldn't have been offended or at least somewhat bothered if someone goes and calls you "the pet of someone"? o_o

But I think what  hurt me was more the form of how he said it. And the fact he was mad at me cos he seemed to force me to think like him, and I told him I didn't.

 What hurt me deeply was that it felt like he was forcing me to think like him! And he didn't even wanted consider to think of what I was saying about why I don't think that fanart or gift art is stupid...or even consider that I can differ on him at some points and was ok. I feel he wasn't listening nor paying atttention to my ideas about the subject and was just trying to push his ideas on me by force. So there was no dialogue on that conversation, which made me feel really unappreciated. Because I from my part did take my time to try and think about his point of view, and try to understand why he thought that way...

He says the problem it's the difference of ideas, but it isn't. The problem is with him, it's the fact he's a very conflictive person, who always expect people to think always like him. And  he doesn't accept someone saying they don't think the same.

That's not a good trait of personality you know...and you know I'm a  relaxed person. I don't get upset about stuff quickly, but that's one of the very very few things that can bother me when people do them: that when you differ with them in something, they try force you to accept their ideas as truth, without listening to you! Without trying to "wear your shoes" so to speak.

I know that many people would go and say that I should just stop contacting him...but...I'm not sure...

He was once a good friend of mine...we used to spend cool moments talking about art and other stuff....

So I'm not sure of what to do...this is really weird for me!

Since I've never had an arguement like that with any friend in my life,  with nobody actually! But only I started to have them with him when I met him, and thus,  I deduct it's not me who's wrong.

It's not me who is causing that, it's him who is inmature and can't accept that people can have their own opinions. Cos if all this it was by my cause, then I would have had the same problems with other people, but I don't.

 In fact I always care to be a tolerant and patient person and I always respect other's ideas and opinons. Even when they aren't similar to mine, and even when they seem to be crazy, cos I really don't like that people try to pull their ideas up my throath, that's why I would never do that!

And with him...when he feels mad he's used to swear AT ME, and that's one thing I'm sure I shouldn't allow people do to me....but I don't know what other thing to do....other than take a break from contacting this person to think on how to tell him about that, so he can understand how I feel and doesn't do those negative (and nonesense!) comments about my art in the future.

I hope I can think of a good way to solve this soon....cos I really don't like conflicts....and I just don't want more pain and sorrow...that's all.

So, meanwhile I'm not sure if I can go back to...to post my stuff where usual. That's why I did this blog and now I'm using it.

Cos the case it's that he have been done this for a pretty good time, just that first I didn't noticed it because it was gradually getting worse. 

And there was a point where I started to realize that due his negative comments I was losing my passion for making artwork! And I started to worry cos I didn't wanted that, so that's why I had to do it...I had to make this place, a place where I could make art in peace without complains or negative comments of people who just want to annoy!

And this is the only think I had not tried yet. And when I made this, I felt way better, and now I feel I'm slowly recovering my passion for making art, which it's really great and makes me feel happy.

But also I feel sad in part...cos this it's really the first time I actually need to take a break from someone....I  don't like people who alwas find an excuse to argue and complain about everything, these negative and conflictive people are toxic, spiritually talking...and I a bit worried now cos I think I've get met one person who is like that...but it happens that he as been a good friend at first...so I'm taking my time to think....

And well, as I said earlier. I personally think that making fanart it's wonderful! Cos fanart it's the root of inspiration for most of artist. I think probably almost every artist's beginning in art was thanks to fanart, thanks to the inspiration their favorite movies or shows have given them! I also love fanart because it's a fantastic and fun way to practice different art styles of drawing and different techniques of painting and stuff.

And I love drawing giftart and I think that's even more amazing, cos that's a wonderful way to show the people you love and care how much you appreciate them! ^^ And that, that it's priceless! To do something with your own hands and pouring your heart in it, that's always million times better than a bought gift.

Plus if if that wasn't enough! There is some crazy people bothering me with messages that say I should go to argue about stuff that I'm not interested, or that I don't like but I also don't think arguing about them would be of any help. For example they say "if you don't like yaoi and yuri then sing this petition" or "join to this anti-porn group" "anti-new disney channel" or a group for hating X or Y subject.

And that just...get me out of my nerves! Cos seriously, I just don't see what's the point of that nonesense arguing on dA or to join to groups just to hate something. O_O ...I wonder if that people have something worthy to do with their lifes...probably not...and that's why they just are on the web to make their and other people's lifes bitter...
But I do have a life! So I wouldn't do any of that, in part cos I think that has no sense at all. It's not productive, it doesn't help anybody, it just creates violence, and negative vibes for the spirit. I mean, man if you don't like something, just don't see it!!! That's common sense.

And specially I wouldn't do that, because my time it's so limited, thus is VALUABLE! Well, it always was valuable, but even more now! And if I have some free time, even a little, I wouldn't waste it doing such dumb stuff. I will always prefer to use this time to do something worthy and good; to hang out with my friends, to do do cool artwork or to write about something I DO LIKE :)
But it doesn't help anybody to go to argue with crazy people saying "I don't like this!!!" XD

Well, that's my opinion at least. When I was a lot younger, people sometimes convinced me of doing that kind of stuff a couple of times...until I realized, doing that it's an useless thing.
Cos I realized if you don't like something cos you think it's wrong, and you want to help to make this world a bit better place, the best way to do it it's as I just said up there, to do some productive stuff with your life, do cool art, that kind of stuff.
Also, well, for example, if someone likes the shows of new disney channel series and you think are dumb, then I think you should tell them to respect your opinion and you should also respect the opinions of other people.

So yes, I'm taking self-teraphy to recover from the things that happened lately on the place that once was my home...and my self-thearaphy it's writting here! XD

I think the best thing about being intelligent and studying human mind, that you can analize yourself and fix your self! *chuckles*

Letting out this from my heart was difficult....but if I'm right, this will help me to health my heart a bit and feel better. :)