My new reflex!!!

Hiya there folks! How you've doing?

I'd like to share with you today, the summary so to speak, of the story of how I got my first reflex camera. 
I've posted it on dA first of course...but taking into account that probably I'll have to leave the page in hiatus for a while....I think I'll post a quote of it here in any case. And as always, I let you know the colored part it's a quote so you don't go to the photo link just to read the same part. Also because I wouldn't like people to think I copy and paste the same thing heheh. You know my comments are original, that's why I quote :)

"I've been buried on my own homework since...well since last year's September when I signed up to College! All the time doing school works instead of sleeping, so much that I don't even bother to count the days I've spent like this! XD

I mean, days happens like this but it worths the effort, cos there are lots of interesting and cool things about my classes at school that I wouldn't chance for anything. So I'm aware that when I decided to get to study Graphic Design, this was one of the best decisions of my life! ^^
But there are some times when I feel like I'd love to have a bit of free time for myself, cos there are lots of things that have happened in my life and too fast, and I don't have time to talk about them.  So today I was thinking of what to talk first, because I only have the time for one thing, since I have homework. So at the end I decided to pick up one of the things I wanna talk about the most, and share a bit of my everyday life with you.

I think one of the most amazing news I've got this month, it's that finally I've got my new camera for my photography class this schoolar cycle, in my case in mexico we call it "cuatrimestre" cos it's a cycle of 4 months. 

The first 3 weeks everythig was "theoric", we did some very interesting stuff though, we investigated a few photographers the teacher wanted us to search info about, and then me and my classmates brought what we searched to the classroom and we talked photography story and cameras. 

But what was worrying me at those weeks,  was the fact that I had not my camera yet, and since the classes have started, I felt a lot of frustration cos I lost the first practice in the classroom with the camera. Since meanwhile everybody were practicing, I was doing nothing and none of my classmates wanted to borrow me their cameras.

Of course, I wasn't the only one who haven't been able to get a camera....but still, I felt too embarassed *chuckles blushes*

So, yeah, these weeks passed. And last Thrusday of this week that just passed, I was at school trying to find someone who also was studying the same career, to see if they could borrow me a camera, and I was hopeless because I wasn't able to anybody ! Then I called my brother to pick me up from school,  because I was tired to running from a place to another literally BEGGING FOR SOMEONE WHO LET ME TO US THEIR CAMERA TO DO MY HOMEWORK!! *pulls off hair* 

Then my brother said that mom said I'd come with him to a pawnshop so we could pawn the little jewelry that my mom had in the family from a long time, in order to get some money and with it to buy the type of camera I needed for my class. So we went then do that, then to the electronics store (in this case it's called Coppel) and gave the initial payment for a credit we got, and that's how I got my first reflex camera!
Wow...it was a lot easier to talk about this than I thought, heheh, I thought it was going to be a long boring story but itwasn't...of course I omited lots of details, because it not then it would have been a boring story! XD

I know  "I put the rope in my own neck" (as we say in Mexico) when I decided to buy this camera, because the interest for the credit it's over the sky!...but I know it's all worth the effort, cos finally I was able to do my homework this last friday, and just will say; let the photos talk for themselves!"

Of course, here's the link to the photo Exotic Red and there in the link are the rest of my comments.  Although ...I can't resist to post the quote where I talk about the cameraaaaaa!! :D

"but what this beauty can do...Oh boy! OH BOY! It's something immeasurable!  It's a Canon T5 and luckily for me, it included a 55mm lent. I couldn't get a macro lents because it's quite expensive, but I think what I have now it's all a passionate of photography who has their first time with a reflex camera would ever need!
It's my first time with a reflex....I've always dreamed with having one of these...I've spent almost a lifetime reading about cameras of this kind and camera lents and all that stuff in other photographer's works here...And now I HAVE ONE!!!! *excited*
So my joy for this is...Oh my!...I can't express it with words...cos I feel all I could say would become an euphemism *chuckles* 

It's funny, when I brought it home that night, my sister commented "why you get too excited for this, it's just a camera!" But...what I can't say? XD I who know about photography, I know what this means, and just I can't help being a passionate about photography!"

Rambling on Valentine's day

I know I shouldn't have come visit dA yesterday, cos I have lots and lots and lots of homework still....but sometimes....I feel lonely...

Specially since my classmates stopped being nice and became cold and aphatic :(

I realized yesterday, that when the few friends you have are far far away from where you live, its hard to conserve them...because sometimes I have no time to give them all the attention they deserve and need, and then...I guess that's why they go away and and lose contact....

What I saw yesterday, it's that no matter how much I struggle to tell my friends how much I appreciate them, most of them don't seem to know! Because no matter how much I send them messages showing I care of them, some of them don't even drop me a message, or WORSE! They always are giving love to other people who don't care about them!!!

They have an special bonding with other people and give gifts to others, they chat with other people and sent valentine cards to other people, put other people special "affectionate names" and not to me *sigh*...and to me, they treat me as a casual friend.....I have the feeling they don't trust on me enough to get their emotions involved on me....like if I was a machine or something like that...

...It's a feeling deep inside which I can't get rid of....a feeling that breaks my heart and haunts me, chases me like a lot of angry bees wanting to bite me...

I'm not saying that everybody it's like that, don't worry. There are a couple of great friends I have, who genuinely care of me and treat me like a dear friend ^^ Specially and mostly my dear friend and mentor Jame.

But sometimes...I see the others who don't treat me like a dear friend but only a casual friend, and makes me think if I'm not doing a good job as a friend, as a support for the people I love!..do I?...

It makes me also think if most of they people who I consider friends of mine are not, and all that it's an illusion....Or how can I know that?...

Or maybe I'm just worrying too much because I know I haven't had much time for my friends in these months, and I fear to lose them, I worry they might feel unloved or neglected.

But I think I should relax and try to stay cool like that. And if I do that, probably to make friends and to have a strong conection with people would be a lot easier. After all, trust on people doesn't earn on one day or two, and there are some people who are more reserved and mistrustful than others.
For example, I have 3 years with a friend who still doesn't tell me her real name or where she lives XD....I wouldn't pressure her though. I think she will when she feels confident to do it. She have had some bad experiences with people so I understand her.

So I think they will get close to me when feel ready. Yeah because, the friends I've had a real connection to, when that happened it have happpened spontaneously. I mean, I didn't need to struggle much or think much of it or doing "extraordinary things" or anything like that. It just...happened because it was constructed day by day! :) Through the time when we talked and shared ideas and feelings, our similar tastes and other stuff. And the frienship grew up as a beautiful flower that was born in the wild, because I was like I usually am; I was helpful, laidback, always caring, friendly and positive.

One time when I was a lot younger, a friend of mine gave me this wise advice. He said I should value and love myself first, before pouring my love to others, and that that will attract good people to my life. One day some time ago, I remember he said:

"if you poured love on yourself as much as you are capable to love other people, and focus on your qualities rather than your faults, as you do with everybody else...if you weren't too hard with yourself, then it would be a lot easier to attract good people and be friends with it!" 

And that's true, it's a wise advice I put into practic since then:)

Problem is that I do love myself now, cos I've matured and learned through the experience and now I'm confident and have more self steem. But I'm still too hard with myself when I make mistakes, also when things don't come out as fast as I would like, then I get  desperated! Like yesterday for example, when seeing people giving valentine's cards and giftart and calling them affectionate names, and to me..nothing!

But well, that's something I must improve, I should be more patient and concentrate to give love to myself more. That will make me a more confident person and thus will help to make the people I want to befriend to be more comfortable with me and trust on me. I think they just need more time....and I wouldn't like to be "a push off", that's never nice.

A friend who always makes me feel reborn!

There's been a time since I haven't had much motivation for drawing, and I was trying to figure out why. I realized it was in part cos I've been having one of those people call "artist block",  or something like that, cos I've been having trouble drawing facial expression all this past year, and now, I feel a bit sad that it's 2015, and it still happens I can't draw my expressions and poses as I imagine them.

But I think in great part it's because I'm not longer motivated to post art on the usual place people see me, before I created this blog. Because there's someone in that comunity who I consider a friend,  has been telling me only negative stuff about my characters, since a year ago or a bit more...

So I was feeling down the other day because, it looked like he didn't like my character (this one) and what he represents, what he means for me....and thus this is why I no longer feel free post my artwork there and express what I think or what I feel in the artists comments, on the usual site I used to post my art. Cos everytime I post something, this person comes to argue about nonesense stuff.
So I feel if I post art this person might argue with me....and I have never liked to argue or fight with people. But when I was sad and unmotivated to do art anymore, a dear friend of mine sent me this wonderful giftart!

See he original link to this Art piece

My friend's drawing of faikel with a bird, she said she got the idea cos she knows I like birds. 

And I felt so loved, admired and appreciated, I felt like a great and worthy person!
I felt so happy to know she has thought on me and took some of her time to draw something for me on Christmas, that this made me feel inspired to do something for her! To draw again! :D In part cos of that reason, and in part cos I had a feeling that she might need something to encourage her, since some time ago she mentioned she was feeling down, as I explained in my other post.

I felt a bit shy when I showed her the drawing, cos it was my first drawing with Illustrator (I posted it here )  and it took me a lot more time than what I would have expected.

But when I shared with her the art and I heard how happy it have made her I felt like my heart was brand new, there was no frustration or worry or sadness in it!

And I re-discovered something very importart: That, no matter the place where I post my art or if there are crazy people saying mean stuff about it, and even doesn't matter much if I can't do art as frequelty as I have for lack of time "or art blocking".

I realized the only imporant thing is that my art can transmit positive and good feelings to people!

It can fill people's heart with joy and hope, it can turn someone's bad day into an amazing one, it can make people dream, and make them imagine great things, or just have fun seeing it. And give them an smile.

And there will be always people who will feel amazed to see it, who will feel happy and warm in their hearts with my art, as well as they do with my friend's one too, of course :D

So I was very happy to realize can and should keep making art, because it's a worthy thing!

But things doesn't end in this, you couldn't imagine how great was my suprise when I discover later, that she had made an article on her site to share my drawing!!! :3 It was one of the most amazing things that have happened to me in this or the other year, and it was such a great honor, I felt so amazed and happy when I saw that she talked about my drawing on her facebook and on her  official page, and even more I read the title "A gift from a friend can raise a wilting spirit"  ^_^ That was something that just went right to my heart!

Cat and Peter Christmas Drawing

Hiya folks!
I'm preparing for traveling back to Chiapas tomorrow, cos I will have to go back to school, but before going (and now I have a change) I would like to share this drawing of Cat and Peter from the graphic novel of a dear friend of mine.

I started it a few days before Christmas, but I hardly had time for drawing, and plus, the illustrator wasn't as easy as I thought! XD In fact, with this software it takes me hours what with photoshop or sketchbook express I'd do in 5 minutes. But it's probably because Illustrator it's a relatively new program for me.

I've started to use it since this past September when I signed up to College, and I have to practice with it cos it's part of my career, and I'll need it in the future to desing logos and other stuff.
 So I saw an opportunity to practice with this drawing, that I would like to present proudly, cos I liked very much the result! It looks like I'm starting to get used to it, and it came out a lot better than my very first try with it, even I did find out how to make degradding of colors!

I feel a bit ashamed cos it's late, and not only late for Christmas time, but also late because this idea  came to my mind some months ago, when my friend was feeling a bit nervious when sending his story to publishers; so I wanted to do a giftart to make her feel better, and to show her that there are much people who loves threadcaster ^^
So, "Late but sure" as we say in mexico, hope it still can make her feel good if she feels down, and also hope you've had a fantastic time in these holidays, and have a prosperous and happy new year!

Incomic Comic - Frist WIP

Hiya there folks!

Today I'd like to share something probably not much people know, it's that in 2013 I was working on a project with a friend of mine, a talented, creative, and a cool person! For this project he writes and I draw :D

So here I'd love that you see a WIP about it, and also to thank him letting me to work on this comic (because the story it's of his own)  and make one of my bigest dreams come true; to work on an art and enternaintment project with a talented and cool artists!

Because of my classes in College sadly I haven't been able to continue with this comic as much I wanted too, but I'm still working on it whenever I have the change, and I hope that for the end of 2015 I can be able to finish at least the first part of it. It's going to be in black and white and a bit sketchy because my friend liked it this way, he says that sketchy looks cool, so I'm going to take his word for that :)

Sketch made on November 11, 2013

Right now I cannot give much info about it, of course cos it's going to be a surprise. But yeah this comic it's going to be a fantasy-sci-fi  story with a Wizzard, a Phoenix, and other cool stuff I bet you'll like!
And I have to say the story it's one of the most original ones I've seen, despite what people would think about fantasy stories, its not cliclé at all.  And it will have a bit of both sci-fi and fantasy.

I'm also working on 2 on my own stories by the way, one o them, I mentioned it in My gecko and I. So, God willing,  there will be great things soon in this blog folks!

A bit of his artwork!

Hi there everybody!
This is an entry I started to write a Friday, 9 May of this year, but I just wasn't able to finish it, until now. So I would like to post it today I have a bit of a time. Obviously, it's not a quote cos it's an article that it's been just in process to be written. But just so you know the date of start :)

Also I come here to talk about him because the few friends I have are already tired of listening to me to talk about him and how cool he and his artwork were! XD I've realized it, how some of them say "Oh I'm going to go to a meeting I gotta go!" but they don't, they actually are just running off from me because they are tired to hear me talking about him XD
One can feels when someone says something for truth or when they're jus cutting you off because they aren't interested on what you're talking about...but in this case...well, I understand them.
They didn't know him, it's normal they are not interested...but now I realize how I've made them tired, I feel a bit bad! *SHY GIGGLES* So I no longer do it XD I better come here ;)
Although not all people friends were like this! I thank a lot to my dear friend Jame cos she was really nice with me all this time! She understands me and she is always willing to listen what I'd like to say! And for me that it's priceless! ^^

Well, some time ago, I was searching the web some photos for doing some drawings, after having finished some art I was doing of a character of mine. And don't imagine what I found, a few of the Photo-manipulations that my friend did! 

So Imagine my surprise! I was so happy because now I can share this with you, now you can see finally some of his work!!! It's such a great honor and joy to have found this and share. Specially because it's interesting not only to see his artwork, but specially his phrases that are always so elegant, and his great great humor! ^-^

Hehe, probably you have no idea of what I'm talking about, sorry! *chuckles*
I'm talking about an amazing artist and person, a really dear friend I had and I haven't seen in a pretty good time, and I really would like to see again.  The same I've talked about a bit HERE.
And I know probably some people who comes to read this blog (if someone ever does XD ) is going to think "Again with that?" "is not worth to remember if a person doesn't make efforts to contact you", or "if it's been to much time you haven't seen this person, why not just forget all?" etc etc etc ...well, because it's my life!!! :)
 Plus I'm not who to judge. And think other people should not do it either.

I know nobody is going undersand this, because nobody knew him as much as I got to know him...

Our bonding was special...but it is also a very personal thing, which if I talk of, I know it would be like ...bringing lots of tourists to a inmaculated water spring or a virgin beach. 

And what they are going to do? They will go and pollute it throwing trash all over the place, step on the coral's reef destroying it (in the case of beach's methaphor) they're going to cut down the trees and make animals go extint. 
With or without intention, but they will do it. And then the place would be ruined and will no longer be meaningful.

So I don't expect you to understand, and thus I'm going to bother to say what happened or why I keep reminding him either.... plus nobody reads this blog XD 

Actually, this is  mostly just a public-private journal I do for myself *chuckles*
I call it this way because, even if it seems to be "public" actually I know that who would come here doesn't really know who I am.  And the ones who do, who have got to know me for real, to know more where I live or what I do in the mornings, are only a couple of friends of mine. And I know if they decide to visit me and I can met them in person, they will not make mention of this site to the people of my town. They know that what they read in this blog stays in this blog, and in their minds and hearts too of course :)

I just would like to talk you about this dear friend of mine, but no with sadness, but with joy.
Cos as I said it at my dA (that now I don't use it very much but well...) I would really like to honor one of the traits he saw in me and nobody saw, and that he loved and admired. It's that I always try to see the positive side of things, and be strong no matter what. So I struggle to do this, and I'll try to be in peace with the hope one day he will come back, and we will hang out together again...and I will be able to  tell him what I haven't been able to tell him.

   A bit of his great artwork!

There's something I've always wanted to tell him and I never had the opportunity to; that I always liked this joy the vivid colors gave to his work. I was gladly surprised to read this, cos like him, I also like a lot to use vivid colors in my work!
I loved how he described why when he said "Car j'aime ce côté magie colorée et explosive" , cos it was very well explained!

As a comment, for what I've seen, it seems to be a very cool forum, maybe I might join someday...I don't know, I usually don't have time for forums XD
Well, Here I post this beautiful intro that he himself wrote when he showed his artwork in this forum called "graphistes world". The topic was Gale-riz de galoubet , it makes me giggle this tittle, I think it was clever and funny at the same time.
It brings me nostalgia and a bit of melancholy....to remember how all his other art dissapeared....But these are the last vestiges I've seen from this extraordinary person and artist, so it means a lot for me to tell you about this!

I kept the format of the text when quoiting it, so you can see that how it's very neat, very well organized, that's one of the things that I loved a lot of him.

Also, notice he only posted his images there on that topic, cos he cared of posting it only in one place so to not spread his stuff through all the forum. This makes me happy too, cos I am organized like that too, if I would go to a forum to posting my stuff, that's exactly what I would have done too! 

Bonjour à tous.

I* Intro :
Alors premièrement j'utiliserais uniquement ce poste pour publier mes images pour éviter de poster abusivement et ne pas étaler les images dans toute la section.

Je suis sous DA c'est eux qui me servent d'hébergement et j'espère que ça ne pose aucuns problèmes.

II* Qui suis-je :
A mon sujet, je suis dans la photo-manipulations depuis 8 mois activement ce qui veut dire que je suis en contacte avec PS depuis un bon nombre d'années mais que je m'en servais uniquement pour jouer et rien de concret et d'ici peu je me suis mis à 3D avec Blender x64 ver2.62.

III* Mon travail :

Mon style graphique va chercher dans plusieurs types facilement notables qui pour les décors en nature sont des couleurs très accentués. Car j'aime ce côté magie colorée et explosive.

Pour ce qui est des mis en scène avec un personnage ou autre, c'est la dérision que je cherche, donner un autre sens.
Et donc outre l'aspect visuel j’essaie de faire passer une pensé à travers mes images .

Puis le projet libre, ça c'est quand j'ai la flemme d'avancer mon travaille et tout ce que je souhaite c'est une image qui fasse jolie pour me rappeler que je sais encore faire quelque chose des mes dix doigts 

Et dernier point qui m'amuse beaucoup, mettre sur image des phénomènes qui ne peuvent exister dans la vie réelle, comme le dit mon frangin.. "Je vends du rêve" Comme quoi il avait tout faux..Personnes ne m'a jamais payés..Pff.. 
(Oh le jolie copié/collé !)

IV* Point de vue : 

Cette galerie sera édité au fil du temps de manière à ce que vous puissiez y jeter un coup d’œil.

Je n'ai pas la prétention de me considérer comme une personne très doué et je sais que j'ai ÉNORMÉMENT de connaissances à acquérir et que mon travail reste par mon expérience assez brouillon.

J'ai toujours avancé en autodidacte et c'est pourquoi j'aimerais vos avis pour savoir quelles mauvaises habitudes j'ai pris pour apprendre à les rectifier avec le temps .

Ma plus grande tare est sûrement de n'avoir aucuns vrai stock quand je monte une création c'est toujours avec la pioche et la pelle..

Les images sont des plus récentes au plus anciennes par chaque catégorie.

Merci de prendre de votre temps pour venir ici et soyez indulgents, s'il vous plaît !

My comments 

Well, first of all I must say, I was very surprised when I read this intro, cos I found out that the way I do my art it's pretty much like he describes it here, heheh.
For example, I also have this kind of artwork that he calls project libre.
You know, when you're uninspired for continuing with a work, to finish it the way you wanted, and then you "loose" a bit and do other thing that is just for fun, to remember yourself that you can do something good with "your ten fingers" as he said, ehehh. I really liked that expression ^^

It always amazes me how these kind of projects, the ones when you relax more, are the ones that come out better, and people usually like them a lot more than the ones that you stress to realize in a more "formal way" so to speak.
I think it's because you usually have fun the most with the "sketchy" works, and that is transmitted to people :D Also, I loved the fact he is very modest, and always tries to improve himself in the art, and also as a person in every day life, in general.

Also I loved this expression of "Je vends du rêve" and what he meant with it. Since I do to, love to create things that you don't normally find in real life. New worlds...new adventures!...Things that could make people dream! :3

And even if people say in these comments that he wrote "a wall", I know why they say this. It's just that people don't like to read...and later they wonder why they don't have a cool vocabulary and why they aren't elegant when talking XD 

But I do like to read though. Specially what he likes to say! Cos he's got an amazing way of writting that it's just so fun and cool, and also warm! It makes you feel you're not behind a computer when reading. But you're talking with him in person :) Also his comments are always very well thought.

About the art, well I think these two people who replied him have given him good advices. It's evident that some of the photomanip pieces needed a bit of more work on how they are merged together, and in a couple of them the colors are a bit "too bright"....But he was a "newbie" at that time. He was just trying to find his own style.
So at that time the important thing wasn't the "technic" in my opinion. But the most important thing, and what called my attention met most, was that at the time when he posted this, he already han an idea of what he wanted to do; he wanted to create fantastic and new worlds, worlds nobody had seen before! And that, it's priceless! ^^ It's something I look for when I make art too.

Probably some years later (for example now or the next year) he himself will see some of his old works and will say to himself "Wuut?....What the hell I was thinking when I did this?!" *chuckles* Because that's a normal thing to say for an artist that evolves. Even...I myself think this of many of my works when I was a "newbie" in drawing! XD

But even so, I cherish my old works a lot, as well as the new ones, cos they bring me good memories from when I made them!

I hope one day he comes back with lots of new pieces of artwork...I really do!!...
And I know for a fact, that when he comes back, if he does, these pieces will look so small compared to the glory of the new ones.
But I show these to you cos I think it's cute and cool to see how an artist evolves. I've always loved to see the words of artists since the first ones to the most recent ones. It's just so interesting to know how an artist find their own style, how they make it come out of their hearts and shine!

One friend I have for example, always says as a joke "don't comment on my old work cos its horrible!!" but it isn't an horrible work. It's a part of the artist and it has a meaning!

Oh and also I really liked when he said that being a self-taught learner, he needed advice to know what were the "bad habits" so he could rectify on time. Cos I know how I feels, I also am a self-taught learner in art, and a lot of other things. So I appreciate the advice cos I don't want to get "bad habits" on stuff I learn, specialy about learning languages.

Here are the links that talk about his artwork, in the case you can see his other topics, it's very interesting see his work and his evolution as an artist..and specially reading what he has to say! ^^ I've always loved the way he constructs his phases, his use of the words is amazing!

Creations de Galoubet 
In this one page, obviously you can see that he's the one with the name of "invitè".

 Galeriz de Galoubet
While in this one (the one where the quote is from) he has his usual nickname.

I know one day he will come back, and we will share lots of cool stuff and hang out together! And he will always be...my best friend ever!....
Go check it out! In both of the pages his comments are fun and cool to read!
 

For those days there are friends!

It seems, no matter how much value I have or how much heart I give, nobody cares about what happens to me...or my art, or the fact I'm still struggling to learn french the best I can even if it seems I CAN'T... 

But I'm sure if I was a famous celebrity they would! They would care just because I'd be famous, not because of what kind of person I am.

I've noticed, people on the internet usually pays attention and give their admiration to famous people just cos they're popular, even if they are jerks. Even when they don't have any goodness in their mind and heart.

Although the advantage of not being famous it's that you can have your privacy and live a life without worrying of people constantly critizicing you and bothering you for every little thing you do or you don't do. And as some pleople have told me, at least I have "a bread in my plate and a ceiling over my head"

So here...that's a thing that give me solace *sigh*....

But what if I don't want only that...what if I don't want "to live more or less" "to eat more or less" , WHAT IF I DON'T WANT JUST TO SURVIVE!! ....What if I want my life to be extraordinary!... Stunning! Incredible! Totally amazing!!

...what if I want more umh?

How I can earn that?.... HOW?!!! If I work hard everyday and try to do my best and I get NOTHING! No improvement.

Sorry...I know I have a little time to talk and I should talk about cool stuff...it's just...

I feel a bit sad today because, no matter how much I struggle, or how much effort I put into things. There are days when I feel like my life isn't at all as I would have wanted....as I would have imagined...

For example, my sister broke up with her boyfriend (because he was a jerk with her) and my mom bought her clothes shoes and glasses that look cool. And he is comforting her and all that stuff. But not me.

And when I broke up with my very first boyfriend, who was such an amazing person! And for reasons that were out of my control...my mom wasn't there, and my dad just got so mad at me and said "you shouldn't talk with people on the internet" and insolated me from my friends for months...I lost my job...I lost everything the few things I had....

And what I had to do on that ocassion was....to swallow all my pain and desperation, and to work hard to  make my life a bit stable again, since I lost all what I had...and I had to cope with my feelings all alone!!...because I had no one who I felt I could trust to talk about it...

And that all about my parents buying stuff and stuff to my sister and comforting her but not me, is just a "friendly reminder" (sarcastic, obviously, cos it is a painful reminder, it rubs off on my face) that tells me I have no money for that kind of stuff ...That tells me I'm poor and I have no help at all to improve that....and something more sad....that they don't really think I'm or I'll be a worthy human being and a succesful person...

And there's another reminder of that:

When I come all excited to tell my mom my plans for the future (like yesterday) of formally studying french...of continuing working hard and then saving to go to some french town as a student, to learn the language, the culture,  to open my mind to a new perspective of the world. She says I should worry about my school first, that I SHOULDN'T "dream that high" cos nothing of that will ever become true....

Also today has been a very exhasuting day for me, not just because of the homework or due the reminders of me being  a looser. But cos I've been trying to buy new shoes to replace my old shoes, co the ones I have are too old and look pretty much like if I had taken them up from the the dumb XD But I haven't had the opportunity to find ones that fit me well because the times I've went to shoe stores, there are no shoes of my size cos I seems have a too tiny feet =P

Plus I'm feeling worse because I've realized that probably I'll not be able to keep being in school soon, cos there's not enough money for my materials, material for school works.

And the school absors much of the time I should be using for my work. So last week I had a couple of problems with some work that wasn't done on time.  I know that  my priority should be my work and not my school cos my work it's what gives me to eat and pay my school but....Sometimes I feel I can't do both things at the same time!! ....

I fear that soon happens that I'd...have to leave my school unfinished....for the second time....for the same reason.

Folks...You know I usually feel lucky, cos I always appreciate what I do have, and I always struggle to try to see the positive side on things that happens and try to not think on the things I don't have. 

So I usually feel like a strong and bold person, with an indomitable a passionate spirit who loves french and art and a lot other stuff that it's amazing and worthy! 

A dreamer who can do great things and whose limits are her own imagination! And since my imagination has no limits (at least not as I know so far ;) *chuckles* ) then I figure out that my posibilities of creating new amazing and worthy things have no limits too.

But there are also days like these, when things like what I mentioned happens, that make me feel like I am s***!!!!

That I'm worthless...

That I'm just an tiny and insignificant girl who was called crazy sometimes, because of her ideas and dreams, a person whom nobody cares of. Whose dreams will never come true and whose ideas and messages she would like to share in her artwork with the world will never be seen!

...But for those days, there are friends!

Today I got a free moment I came to dA "with the tail between the legs" (like a popular mexican saying) feeling defeating...helpless...weak...insignificant...

But then I went to visit my own artwork and I read the beautiful and heartwarming comments my friends have done for me on some of my pieces, some time ago, and that was enough to make me feel strong again. Now I feel again it's worth living! :')

Friends are here to share the good and bad moments, to cry and laugh and have fun together, to help and support each other, and to take away from each other's heart the sadness and the feeling of being defeated in the most sad or bad moments!

And the fact that the comments my friends have done for me here, some time ago, still make me feel powerful and faithful when I need it the most, even,  that is truly a miracle! ^^

So that's why I wanted to write about it today, to give you my friends a huge warm hug and a thank you! And let you know I always think about you guys ^^

Ah oh, and last but not least, other things I would like to say:

One it's that I'm going to paint one of my art pieces as a vector to practice with Illustrator (we already did in school a bussiness card and a logo, and printed them, it was cool :) ) but I'm not sure of what of my pieces to post, so if you would like to give me a suggestion, I'll be more than glad to hear it! :D See my pieces (on the site I used to post my work) and tell me what do you think it might be good for that work, or what would you like to see painted in Illustrator.

The second thing it's very important, I'm very concerned because there's no enough money for my school's homeworks and projets materials, So I thought to ask a bit of help, like I've seen other artist doing it.

Although I DO NOT like to go and say "help me please" and to ask people to give me their money for free, for not doing anything, like I've seen other artist have done. 

Cos I've always been used to receive money for work, for things I do, when I earn it. I was raised that way, I was taught to only accept money for a work done XD

Thus it would be SO embarassing for me to accept money as charity! *SHY GIGGLES*

So, that's why I had a better idea, to try and organize my time to take comissions again, specially sketches and colored sketches. Cos these are all I might be able to do in these times I think.

So...I'm taking comissions again folks :D

Please if someday some of you have liked my art, now it's time to show your support! 

If you would like to help me to get more money to keep being in school, I truly would appreciate it!

In case you would like that I draw something for you, see my journal about comissions ( for more info.

And let me tell you, there are a couple of simple rules, but excepting for that, there's no problem.

I can draw whatever your imagination comes up with, remember; for the imagination there's no limits!  :D